Joan Rivers On Her Funeral...

"When I die, I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action... 

I want Craft services, 

I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! 

I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don't want some rabbi rambling on. 

  I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents.  I don't want a eulogy.   

 I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing "Mr. Lonely."  I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. 

 I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé's." - Joan Rivers